My Spleen
Ok I found this rather amusing, so much so I laughed so hard I hurt my squiggly spooge :P
http://funnyjunk.com/pages/backstreet.htm/
Oh and this;
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
- On Sears hairdryer:Do not use while sleeping.(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
- On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(The shoplifter special!)
- On a bar of Dial soap:Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would be how?)
- On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion: Defrost.(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.(Too late! you lose!)
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
- On Boot's Children's cough medicine:Do not drive car or operate machinery.(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
- On Nytol sleep aid:Warning: may cause drowsiness.(One would hope!)
- On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning: keep out of children.(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
- On a string of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.(As opposed to use in outer space.)
- On a food processor:Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm curious.)
- On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: contains nuts.(but no peas?)
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
- On a Swedish chainsaw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
- On a child's Superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Stoopid people should be steralized and prohibited to breed.
http://funnyjunk.com/pages/backstreet.htm/
Oh and this;
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
- On Sears hairdryer:Do not use while sleeping.(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
- On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(The shoplifter special!)
- On a bar of Dial soap:Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would be how?)
- On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion: Defrost.(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.(Too late! you lose!)
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
- On Boot's Children's cough medicine:Do not drive car or operate machinery.(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
- On Nytol sleep aid:Warning: may cause drowsiness.(One would hope!)
- On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning: keep out of children.(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
- On a string of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.(As opposed to use in outer space.)
- On a food processor:Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm curious.)
- On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: contains nuts.(but no peas?)
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
- On a Swedish chainsaw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
- On a child's Superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Stoopid people should be steralized and prohibited to breed.
posted by Melody | 12:38 PM
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